(Am I currently finishing all my blog posts instead of studying for my exams? Absolutely!
Sometimes procrastination takes the most unexpected forms (although to be fair, I’m actually ahead in my revision schedule, so I can afford to spend my life hanging out at the grocery store flirting with Mr. Grocer, this story is starting to take me a lot of my time, I might have to level up soon). Back when I was working on my thesis in 2018–2019, my procrastination took many shapes: several intense spring cleanings, a few enthusiastic baseboard and toilet-painting sessions, finally reading books that had been waiting for months (or years), and some overly ambitious source research — which later inspired my collaboration with Cybèle and even ended up in Tan’s book TDS. I can’t wait to see what next year brings two dissertations at once, plus exams to spice things up! It’s going to be GLO-RI-OUS.)

A few years ago, while I was wandering around American escorts’ websites (I love admiring my colleagues, that’s pretty much the only reason I’m on Twitter and Instagram, my feeds are full of beautiful people and I must admit, quite a lot of photos of butts and boobs, which makes it tricky to open that app on public transport!), I came across an article one of them had written about the idea of traveling with an escort.

The main argument was “Because unlike your wife, an escort will never say no to sex.“

I’ll admit, I almost choked on my rosemary tea.

There’s nothing wrong if this colleague happens to have a boundless libido and is always up for some fun. But what bothered me was the generalization — and the danger behind such a statement.
Suggesting that an escort is someone who must fulfill another person’s desires at any time simply means denying her right to consent.
And when there’s no consent, it’s…well, we all know what that is.

Oh, and that little jab at “your wife”? Also not great. Really, there was nothing right about those few words.

The myth of the emotionless professional machine

What I saw there was a kind of “professionalism” taken to the extreme, something like, “If someone pays or hires you then you must obey their every wish, forget who you are, what you like, what you feel… Just serve.“

That story stayed with me for a while. I didn’t quite know what to do with it. But since lately I’ve been lucky enough to go on some beautiful trips with my suitors, I wanted to talk about what makes those moments so special and why taking care of each other matters, even (and especially) in this kind of relationship.

I’ve always believed that, no matter what our job is, we’re not robots. The idea that a “good professional” should be able to build a wall between work and private life just to be more productive is, to me, a deeply toxic one. Sure, maybe some people can do it but for how long and at what cost? Even when I was a nurse, it used to drive me mad to be called “unprofessional” simply because I cried when one of my patients died

And the older I get, the more this concept annoys me. Not just for me, but for everyone.

When I travel, my private life travels with me (and yours does too, obviously).

Setting my day-to-day aside for a few hours is usually easy enough. I’m lucky, I meet wonderful people and each encounter feels like a soft little bubble for me too. A pause, a gentle moment where I stop thinking about everything else, focus on the present, our conversations, the kisses, the touches. But even with the best intentions, things don’t always go as planned. When a meeting lasts for several days, it’s a different story entirely. We spend days and nights together, there’s no way to completely separate what’s going on in my life from what’s happening between us. I always do my best but a part of my real life will inevitably sneak into our little vacation. And because I’m human and my body is an absolute champion when it comes to reacting in annoying ways, I can’t guarantee a perfectly smooth, trouble-free trip.

Unexpected things sometimes hop on the plane with us, and not even Trump could send them back home.

• A family emergency,
• A sudden hemorrhagic period,
• A lingerie theft at the airport,
• A pizza-induced food poisoning,
• A spectacular allergic reaction,
• Or a full-on drama-queen crisis from my dog (“Because you left, I shredded your desk, eviscerated the couch, and had explosive diarrhea on my sitter’s bed!!!“).

Yep. All of that (and more) has already happened. There was even one lucky man who experienced three of these disasters during the same trip (can you guess which ones?).

I’m not saying everything has to stop the moment something goes wrong. I’m actually quite resilient.
But knowing that I can be heard, that we can slow down a bit, adapt if needed, makes all the difference.

Yes, we need to talk about things like my period, for example. Very heavy bleeding and painful cramps can be disabling, especially if we have plans to explore a city all day. No, I can’t just “pretend everything’s fine” and hide it. If it’s too hot, I might faint or I might spend the whole day calculating where the nearest public toilets are to avoid… well, a mess. It’s not glamorous, I know. And I get that some people don’t want to talk about periods with their partners. But for me? I need lovers I can rely on for this kind of thing. Bonus points if, instead of laughing or looking disgusted at a blood leak, you hand me a sweatshirt and run to the nearest store for supplies. More generally, my cycle affects how I experience our time together. I’m one of those people who goes through full-on emotional and physical rollercoasters each month. PMS can hit me hard: hypersensitivity, breast pain, fatigue (even after nine hours of sleep and five-hour naps!) and ovulatory periods that make me feel like I’ve had a permanent caffeine overdose (and fall in love every five meters).

And no, I can’t schedule encounters around my cycle. We already have two busy schedules to align mine includes two courses, other activities, my dog and my private life. Plus, since the issue I’m about to have surgery this summer, my cycle has decided to go rogue (even though it used to be as regular as clockwork).

Yes, I’ll do my best not to change our plans too much, even if I have food poisoning. But sometimes, I’ll need a little adjustment: shaky legs, hot-and-cold flashes that get hard to manage in a crowd or heat.
It would be such a shame to replace a planned stroll through the streets of Venice with a hospital visit because I fainted (even if my Italian is decent, I’ve learned nothing about medical emergencies so no, it’s really not a good idea!)

Yes, I may feel the need to share some difficult things in my life but that won’t spoil our moment, on the contrary. Not keeping it to myself, being able to talk about it and sometimes even laugh about it a little helps me to deal with it better and therefore get back into the moment more quickly (honestly, dealing with my dog’s crisis in Marseille and Venice was something else. Luckily, I was with patient and funny lovers who helped me take a breather, laugh and drink too (the wine and prosecco helped a lot, let’s be honest)). In my work, I find that this kind of discussion and relationship is much more intimate than the “in bed” part. It’s thanks to all these little moments of authenticity that I can dive a little deeper into the connection with my lover.

If you’re looking for someone who always says “yes,” go get a sex doll. You’ll even save some money. You’re welcome !

Now, back to the sexual aspect we mentioned earlier: all these little (and not-so-little) adventures obviously affect our intimate moments.

First, there’s the physical side. I give my absolute best but trying to maintain a glamorous, classy sex session while dealing with food poisoning? Not always possible (and yes, dignity can be at risk, accidents happen fast) Then there’s my period…no need to spell it out. Pray my early-July surgery works, because I’m so over losing liters of blood each month (okay, maybe not liters literally, but enough to ruin my sheets and clothes).

But it’s also mental. Sexual pleasure and a preoccupied brain don’t coexist very well. It’s like trying to nap while the kid upstairs runs around in noisy shoes “tap tap tap tap tap tap tap…“. So, if bad news crashes into our trip, my mind might not be fully in the mood for a sweet encounter. And here’s where the magic of the relationship comes in: if I have a partner who listens, allows me to talk, treats me gently, gives me time and space, chances are we’ll reconnect even faster than expected. Yes, of course, it depends on the news. If it’s a death, well, it might slightly ruin the trip. But if it’s my dog throwing yet another drama-queen meltdown, shredding my precious sexology and sociology books and having explosive diarrhea in my lingerie drawer, then I just suggest opening a bottle of prosecco, grabbing some Stilton or Shropshire and brainstorming your best jokes about my demon-dog (maybe wait until I’ve had a first glass…just in case).

This doesn’t only apply to Venice. This long rant is true for any encounter, in any context — not just in my work.

Of course, long trips aren’t necessary to create this kind of connection. You don’t have to take me out for linguine alle vongole in Venice to connect intimately. And just because you do bring me there, it doesn’t guarantee intimacy. The simple act of caring for each other during our encounters, exchanging emails afterwards to check in, encourage and support each other…that’s the foundation of what I value in a relationship.

Trips are a special case, though, and I wanted to share my perspective on the role of emotions in these moments. Society increasingly wants to silence feelings, insisting that professional and private lives should never mix and the damage is already visible… I know not everyone has the same freedom as I do, but here’s the main takeaway: be kind to the people you meet. You never know what they’re going through (except for folks with a Zemmour fan club card, empathy is in short supply there. Same goes for Trump fans. And we’ll stop there because I have a long list of people I don’t really empathise with… Oh dear!)

Je vous embrasse

P.S.: I wrote most of this text, and then in the middle of the night, I had a revelation : I forgot to tell you about another clandestine traveler! Just like my period, he hadn’t really bothered me in my work until recently. But there was a slightly intense episode and I wanted to share it so you’d know what you might be signing up for if you decide to take me on a trip. I suffer from sleep disorders, not the usual insomnia or snoring, no, it would be too simple ! I deal with hypnopompic hallucinations (yes, I also laughed out loud when I read that term) and sleep paralysis. Quite a package, right?

I’ve had these hallucinations before while sharing a bed with a charming suitor but no one ever knew, because I make no noise. I hallucinate quietly until my brain fully wakes up and I realize where I am and with whom. Nothing harmful! There was, however, one lucky guy who discovered the “theatrical version” a few months ago. Since then, I try to give a heads-up because it can… be surprising.
The moving version of these hallucinations happens mostly at home : I often wake up in front of my front door, not really knowing what I’m doing. Usually, I dream that I forgot to lock it, someone is ringing or I left it open and my cats escaped. I have a bit of a thing with my door… And apparently with doors in general…

One night, I was in lovely company and had recounted my nocturnal love for doors. Being a gentleman, my suitor offered to check the door with me before we went to bed, to reassure me. The next morning, still a bit foggy, I thought I remembered having an episode during the night but wasn’t sure, so I asked my bedmate.
He confirmed: yes, I had hallucinated…quite a bit! I had sat up in bed in the middle of the night and delivered a monologue like this: “Doors… there are doors… doors… doors… doors…“. Then he explained that at another point, I had sat back down on the bed to talk and he added apologetically: “But this time, I didn’t have the translator, so I didn’t understand a word you were saying“

We had known each other for a while, and I think this Valérie Damidot-style Exorcist remake made him laugh (he even rebooked for later trips). But not everyone shares that sense of humor. So, to avoid having to call a priest in the middle of the night, here are the instructions : speak softly, touch me gently (a firm but soft pressure on the arm works) and if possible, turn on a light. No sudden movements, no shouting. I genuinely experience what I hallucinate, if you scream, I might perceive it as a real threat.
I usually wake up completely quickly, sometimes I fall back asleep immediately, remembering only vaguely if the hallucination was mild (like, if I talk about a door, that’s fine!).

If we plan a long cuddle session, I’d be very happy to discuss this with you. I also have plenty of hilarious anecdotes (like the time I woke up writing a text to a lover asking where he was, while he slept peacefully beside me). Knowing I have a “guardian angel” beside me helps me relax and enjoy the night fully and turns potentially stressful moments into funny, tender memories.

Je vous embrasse

L’article Travelling toghether: when our intimacy reaches new heights (but this also applies to shorter encounters, of course!) est apparu en premier sur Louise, escort à Toulouse et en France.

Many of you here know the story of the gentleman who came to the bar where I was with friends to tell me about his wisdom teeth operation (I touched on it briefly in my FAQ). A week later, as I was sipping my beer at the bar (Kro if you want to know, yes it’s not real beer and yes I’m capable of drinking Billecart one day and Kro the next, just as I’m capable of camping in the rain one day and walking the corridors of a palace the next, I’m all terrain), the barman told me that he’d seen “that man” again, that he seemed to be looking for me and he asked me if I wanted him to kick him out the next time. I politely declined the offer as I knew the gentleman really meant no harm and, knowing the barman, the “exit” was going to be highly humiliating (he had very limited patience with men who disturbed the women in his bar).

This example makes many people laugh, including me now, but at the time I must admit that it annoyed me a little and, even if it is an extreme case, I find it a good example to talk about the barrier between my professional life and my private life. In this case, the bartender turned into a worker who was responsible for rebuilding the barrier to protect my privacy but I would really like to avoid having a bodyguard armed with bricks (and we pronounce it parpainGs, please) to keep the invaders away. Although, now I have the image in mind and it makes me laugh a lot.

Anyway, let’s get back to it.

Since the first email, we put some barriers in place facing each other to protect our privacy, and we see, during our relationship, if we want to move these barriers or not. Some people tell me their whole life from the first email, I always found it very touching because I see a huge mark of trust. Other people need more time to share and that’s fine too. What matters to me is to let the other person decide what he wants to share or not and let things happen at their own pace.

During my meetings, I like to discuss and learn more about your life, your projects, your joys and your sorrows. It’s not at all to «study» you in a sociological way but because I am interested in the people I meet, I always find this very enriching (I learn so many things!) and it also allows me to know you better, to define your expectations, your desires, etc. However, I prefer to reassure: it is not an interrogation, you can say “Joker” at any time and I will not be offended because it is the same for me. If I don’t want to tell you things, it’s my business. We feel comfortable with these jokers and it’s important to respect them. Maybe they will evolve, maybe not.

We can each decide to keep some things to ourselves. You can decide to tell me about your family life but want to keep your job secret, it’s fine, you can even invent a professional life if you like. If you tell me that you are the Queen of England (I know, she died but she was alive when I wrote it and I didn’t want to change that)  and well, listen, I will play the game because it is a barrier like any other, I do not see why I will not respect it (but you better receive me with scones, cream and jam!).

You are a spy for the KGB? Great, tell me more (or maybe not…)!

You are a unicorn breeder in Dordogne? Make me dream!

But what do I consider as barrier crossing?

The list is not really exhaustive but it can be:

• Insist on topics for which I have posed my “joker” or negotiate my limits.

• The use of any information that I have not given you directly or that is not mentioned on my site.

• Want me to say love words to you or wish our relationship evolves into a private one

I already addressed this theme in «A princess to save» but it is good to repeat some things because apparently some people do not feel concerned. Any relationship outside of our bubble will be impossible for the simple and good reason that my heart is already taken for a long time.

Also, I am not a person who says words of love lightly, I need to feel them to say them, it is my heart that speaks and not my mouth. I could say it to «retain» but I would lie and I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. I don’t want to play with a person’s feelings for money.

• Absolutely want to meet me “outside”

It has happened several times that a person I didn’t know wrote to me saying “I think I saw you in this street on this day”. Well already, it’s not the kind of message I like but when it is followed by a «I almost came to see you but you were with a friend», then I breathe very hard in front of my computer.

First, you have to know that EVERY time I was told that it wasn’t me. Second, it’s creepy. Our meeting can only exist in the bubble that I want to grant us, not outside. In addition to being creepy, coming to see me on the street will be deeply unpleasant for both: for me because I have no desire to be disturbed by a stranger in my private life and for you because I will not hesitate to let you know my dissatisfaction.

Consequences of overcoming the barriers

I really understand this desire to know me a little more but I want to maintain a certain barrier between my professional life and my private life. I am always sad when I see that the person is trying to break through my barriers. Even if we had a good time together, the only thing you will win is to ruin all our memories (and take a door in your head in the absence of a parpainG). I find it very unfortunate when the beautiful moments and everything you have been able to offer me are wasted in a few emails/ some sentences and that the smile you had put on my face fades to make room for sighs and eyes raised to the sky.

A meeting must remain a nice parenthesis for both of us and not a burden that weighs on my private life, on my other activities, on my sleep, on my couple, on my time for me, etc. It is out of the question that I bother putting my barriers again and again in front of someone who refuses to respect them and therefore to respect me.

In summary “By wanting more, you will get less”

For most people I meet, these barriers seem obvious, fortunately. However, I know from experience that others will say “Well no, I don’t see it like that” and show me a PowerPoint on “How Louise should put her barriers and why with me it’s not the same”. The point here is that I am talking about MY barriers. Not yours. Not those of a colleague who told you about her entire life and where you would have coffee every Sunday. Mine. So, from there, there is no «discussion» to have, if it doesn’t suit you, you are free to go elsewhere to find the relationship that will fit to your expectations.

“And, do I have the right to have barriers too?”

Of course!! To meet me, some things are not negotiable but as you could see on my site I do not ask for a photo and I offer payment methods that allow you to keep your identity for yourself (refills that can be bought in a tobacco shop). So, you choose what makes you comfortable (attention: this is MY way of functioning, do not go complain about a colleague who asks for a mandatory photo because these are ITS barriers and if it does not suit you, look elsewhere).

However, I have to say that, when I meet someone who refuses to tell me anything about him and his life, it tends to block me. Some will say that it is to keep the mystery, I just feel uncomfortable. I still need a minimum of connection to share a nice moment.

“And if it does happen, what do we do? Should I run as fast as possible to avoid the Parpaings?“

No, stay there!!!! Of course, we are never safe from a clumsiness, on my side as well as yours. We don’t have the same cursors on what is intimate or not, what is private or not, our education or culture play a lot of it.

We are human and as I said I like to get to know each other so I consider it normal and healthy that people want to know me a little better too (a person who is not interested in who I am would even scare me away). What matters is that I feel the person is not malicious and does not seek to come back to the charge later in one way or another. If one of us ever makes a mistake, I think it’s good to discuss it. What could seem logical to me may not be so for you. It is therefore an opportunity to discuss this together and start again hand in hand, on a beautiful basis.

Je vous embrasse

L’article Limits of our relationship est apparu en premier sur Louise, escort à Toulouse et en France.

Today I wanted to talk about condoms and unprotected sex, it was in my head for a while because we have very frequently requests to make «the total without condom». Sometimes it’s people who don’t care about diseases or contaminating someone (for me it’s the equivalent of the guy who drives at 150km/h in town saying «Gneugneu is my right if I want, if I want to die it’s my business» while not at all John-Schumacher, you put other people in danger but you have nothing to do, it’s as simple as that) but sometimes it’s people who are not really aware of what are the risks.

Condoms and sexually transmitted infections

Most requests for sex without a condom are followed by the argument “because I feel nothing/it makes me lose my erection”. To convince me that I risk NOTHING to frolic without protection, the men will use different justifications. We will study the most common ones together and see how these thoughts tell us a lot about misconceptions in terms of sexual health and prevention.

«But I take care of myself, my doctor made me do the test 8 months ago, I have nothing».

I’m happy for you but it doesn’t count for our appointment. Testing is good, it’s important to do it regularly and not only HIV but all other STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections). We do these tests when we have a relationship with a person, whether it is a romantic or lovers’ relationship, an urge from 2 partners who trust each other enough to put aside the condom. I don’t know you, so I can’t trust you as much as if we’d been eating croissants in bed on Saturday mornings for three years. And even if we have already met a few times, it’s not possible for me to ignore the condom in this type of meetings. I have a private life, lovers who trust me to manage my work and its risks, I don’t want to play with their sense of security for a few euros.

“I can do a test a little before the meeting to prove that it’s ok”

You can if it makes you happy, but it won’t change the way I receive you. Between the test and our meeting, nothing shows that you have not had risky relationships and promising me on the Bible or on the menu of the Room Service will not convince me.

Unfortunately, syphilis didn’t disappear with the death of Charles Baudelaire. It’s doing very well in the last news, as many of his STI girlfriends, since many people thought they were dead and buried.

Most of them are well treated, but to be treated they must first be detected. Sometimes a client who have a wife/girlfriend asks for sex without condoms, swearing me that he always asks for HIV tests from his partners. Not getting tested for other STIs is putting your official partner at risk of being infected. There are serious consequences to some STIs (chlamydia can cause infertility for women or problems during pregnancy, so I assure you that it is not necessary to ruin maternity wishes for 10 minutes of pleasure). In France, you can go to a Ceggid, it’s free and anonymous (since Covid it is was easier to get an interview with the Pope than an appointment with them, I heard that it gets better but you can ask your doctor for an prescription). In any cases, please, don’t lie to the doctor/nurse. If you lie, it may miss certain tests that could have been important such as samples from the throat, anus or urine tests. If you are afraid of saying that you see SW, you can say that you do libertine parties, the most important thing is that you can talk honestly about your practices.

“You’re the only one in my life besides my wife, no need to do tests, we can do without the condom”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s not. I don’t want to question the truth of your statement. Stress is bad for excitement. I have seen in the past, clients who told me that and I realized by talking with colleagues that the same man had tried the same method in appointments with them.

“You can see if we have an STI, you will see that I have nothing weird on my penis/my body“

I don’t know if I really need to go into that part. In fact, yes, I know because I regularly see people writing this type of comment at colleagues or on internet. Even during my activity I have heard things like “When a guy gets wet from his penis it means he has an STI. Look, I have nothing so I don’t have an STI.” The STIs are very often asymptomatic and that is why it is problematic: people do not get tested because they do not feel “sick”.

And…what about pregnancy?

When a man asks a partner not to wear condoms, I feel like he often thinks of STIs but rarely babies. Because yes, penis inside a vagina = potential risk of pregnancy, I think I don’t teach you anything.

In short, jokes aside, when Mr-Future-Father-of-My-Child does not pass under a tunnel, he likes to argue. Let’s look at his main arguments:

“But you just have to take the birth control pill, right?“

Taking this pill is not as simple and harmless as eating a Dragibus (well, it depends if you have diabetes it may not be terrible but I don’t have one and I love Dragibus, my favorite ones are black!). Taking the pill means having to be followed by a gynecologist/midwife every year, it’s the side effects (and the side effects of side effects such as bullying on weight gain or lack of libido), it means having to think every day about taking it, it’s the anxiety when we forget about it and have to take the morning-after pill, it’s having to run through pharmacies and get some mean comments (I was already refused because I “had only to be more serious”)… It is a great step forward in the fight for women’s rights but it is also a responsibility that we often find ourselves managing alone.

So, a little advice for your relationships: think about how you could take charge of the contraception of your couple. This can be sharing or paying for contraception, taking care of the pill reminders, going to the pharmacy, attending medical appointments, being a little caring when side effects are important, learn about contraception for you like the Slip Chauffant (HERE) or consider vasectomy if you don’t want/more children (no, it will not take away your virility). Anyway, it’s up to you to discuss with your partner and see what is best for both of us.

“You can take the morning-after pill.“

“Louise, there are other methods of contraception too huh!“

Yes John-Einstein, things like condoms for example…

More seriously, there is a panel of contraceptive methods (and it’s very cool) except that hormones don’t do good to everyone and non-hormonal contraceptives are also not suitable for everyone. So, it’s up to the people who are taking contraception to decide what is best for them, not to the partners to decide based on what is best for them.

“With me, no worries: I am vasectomized”

Bravo, it is good when a man takes charge of contraception! But for all the reasons mentioned in the first part of this article it will still be NO.

In summary:

You will understand: I will not take a contraceptive so that my lovers have more pleasure. However, my case is not a generality, everyone must be able to put everything in the balance and see what suits them best: some people will prefer to take the pill, others combine condom + pill, others will choose the sterilization… In short, what matters is that the choice is informed and not pushed by one of the 2 partners who thinks of his pleasure first.

It always troubles me when men ask to do without condoms and want to rely only on their partner. Because it is also important to know that no method of contraception (pill, IUD, implants, etc.) is 100% effective, I know an incalculable number of friends who have had pregnancies under contraceptive. For those who ask for nature, it does not seem to be much, once without a condom, but for us it can be months of trouble, even years, for those who will have to carry their pregnancy to term (denial of pregnancy or refusal/impossibility to abort) or for whom the abortion was traumatic.

So, I appreciate and thank the partners who take responsibility, accept my way of managing my uterus and don’t ask me for unprotected sex. It is true that the condom is not ideal, even for me, but at least I am much more relaxed and I can enjoy our time together.

Love is a dance for two, so are care, contraception, and protection.

Being a perfect lover during our meetings

Personally, a perfect lover is someone who:

• has learned about prevention and can share his needs and limitations with me or wants to discuss things, ask questions

• knows how to put a condom correctly

• knows that if he loose his erection, there are risks for the condom to slip away and therefore, takes care of this

• doesn’t judge colleagues on what they do or don’t: each one does as she can/wants and if that doesn’t suit you, see another escort

• doesn’t make a «joke» like «Oh zut! the condom has slipped/ broken! No, I’m joking hahahah» because it is not funny. I think directly about morning-after pill, side effects, anxiety, pregnancy tests, abortion… So, I can tell you that after that my libido is as low as the sight of a star-nosed mole.

• is careful during the act that the condom is well in place and even take a break to change it (especially in cases where you get very wet, this can make it slide) and who also takes care to maintain the condom when leaving after ejaculation

Sexually transmitted infections and shame

It’s also important to realize that once you have an active sex life, you are exposed to some STIs even while protecting yourself. That’s why you need to get tested regularly in order to be treated quickly in case of positive results. Some people have lots of partners and never had anything, while others have few partners and one day find themselves with a positive test result (a good example is the papillomavirus which affects 70 to 80% of people). I think it’s important to be able to talk about it without shame because shame is what makes people not want to talk about protection with their partner (“Why do you want to wear a condom? You have an STI, right?”), to avoid testing or not wanting to discuss a positive result.

Even if it can be a little scary, I think you should not be too paralyzed either, otherwise you do nothing (this applies to all areas of life in reality, you can die by eating a raclette but I take the risk!). However, I think it’s important to be informed enough to make your own decisions about risk reduction and talk about them with your partners.

Je vous embrasse !

L’article Condom, shared custody for Christmas and star-nosed mole (or more simply: «The reduction of risks in sex work») est apparu en premier sur Louise, escort à Toulouse et en France.

Some weeks ago, I received a message from a man, who asked me if I was able to fix his broken heart. I wish I could have said yes !

As many of you here, I’ve known this situation, when you feel like your body is falling apart, your stomach is knotted, the tears that come at every memory, the anger, the lack of interest in everything, the sleepless nights, the days spent in bed or on the sofa watching sad films and eating gallons of ice cream, the desperate search for a remedy to make the pain go away or at least decrease it.

In these cases, I also wish I could find a bandage for my little heart in pieces, but the sad truth is that there is nothing to do, except letting the time pass and surrounding yourself with friends, family, love and tenderness.

Some of you contact me after a painful breakup, even sometime after the decease of your love one, so it can be a emotional experience for both of us.

It seems important for me to have this discussion to reassure those who hesitate to contact me, those who are afraid to not be at their best, those you think they are not enough healed to do this type of encounter;

First of all: you are never force into something with me.

If we meet but you realize that you can’t go further, I’ll never take offence. Particularly in case of bereavement, I know that I am sometime the first woman you hug, kiss, touch, since the loss of your love one. It’s something really intimate so it can take time. Sometimes you feel like you are ready for that but your body send you the opposite message… You don’t have to apologize, it’s not a failure. You thought that you could run up the stairs, but your body and your brain are holding you back at the very first step. One step is already a big move! Maybe the start of a process that will take is time…

Second point: never apologize for crying with me.

I’ve met men who, feeling the tears welling up when we met, would apologize profusely and sometimes even go and hide in the bathroom so they wouldn’t break down in front of me..

I know it’s not easy, you can feel uncomfortable because, most often, men are encouraged to hide their emotions. Crying could even be seen as a weak reaction. However, you have to know that these injunctions are not my cup of tea. I think it’s something really toxic that we need to get ride of. If you want/need to cry with me, do it!

Some men apologise for “ruining” our happy time. If it’s true that I really enjoy funny encounters but I’m also there for the less happy times in life. When I’m having a good evening with friends, if one of them suddenly starts crying or tells us something sad, I’m not going to call him a killjoy! No, I serve him a drink, I serve myself a drink, I hold his hand and I ask him to talk to me. Cause I’m ultra-sensitive (even more so when I’ve had a few drinks), I often end up with tears in my eyes while consoling him. Well, my make-up is ruined, but at least the person is being listened to and it’s important to be able to confide in someone when things aren’t going well.

For widowed men, you can talk to me about your partner, you can tell me about the good memories (how you met, your marriage, the birth of your children…) or the not so good ones (illness, death, suffering…). That’s what I’m here for too, to get to know you and what you’ve been through. You can also choose not to talk to me about it, I’m not going to interrogate you – that would be totally inappropriate on my part.

All this to say that although I don’t have the ability to mend broken hearts, we can go a long way together, just long enough to feel a bit better, long enough to find a beautiful companion with whom to build a new relationship. I’m always delighted when a man I’m seeing tells me that he’s met someone, that he’s in love. That’s when it’s time for me to step aside and wish you all the best in this new adventure.

Je vous embrasse !

L’article Can I mend  broken hearts ? est apparu en premier sur Louise, escort à Toulouse et en France.

Take something to eat before because it’s going to be a bit long and we’re going to talk about food too – it can makes you hungry!

“Would you like me to wear anything in particular? Do you mind if I wear shorts or a T-shirt?“

Come as you are!

I don’t really care what you’re wearing, as long as you don’t open the door to me naked!

In a metalhead T-shirt, in shorts, in flip-flops and socks (yes, I accept EVERYBODY!) or in a suit, you can wear whatever feels right for you.

My meetings are above all based on naturalness: I refuse to be asked to come in an outfit that isn’t me, so you can imagine that I expect the same of you. There’s no need to put on the suit you bought for your brother’s wedding 5 years ago when it no longer suits you and it’s 35°C out. If you’re in a suit because you were at work, no problem, but if you want to wear a T-shirt and jeans to dinner with me, get changed.

“You say you want to eat, but what? How much? What kind of food do you like? What kind of restaurant?“

Because the meetings I offer are a little long, I’m often asked if I want to eat and especially what I want to eat. You’ve realised that food and me are a beautiful love story and you don’t want to disappoint me on that point? You’re quite right, because I have to admit that I’m always very disappointed when someone tells me that we’re going to eat together or have a snack and then the person changes the plans.

“Louise… You don’t get paid to eat, if you know what I mean…“

Yes, that’s true. But on a date, even a 2-hour date, most people like to feed me. If, during a 2 or 3 hours “tête-à-tête”, my suitor doesn’t consider it, I prefer to know so that I can eat beforehand (remember that meetings lasting 4 hours or more must include lunch or dinner). If you say “Yes, of course” and end up saying “No”, what happens? Quite simple: I’m hungry. And so are you. Like any human being, in fact. And when my tummy rumbles, I’m sorry, but it wins by a knockout over my sensuality. For me, the pleasures of the body are inseparable from each other. If I’m hungry, if I’m thirsty, if I’m sleepy, etc., you can be sure that my pleasure will be much less. That’s how it is so it’s up to you whether you want me completely fulfilled in every way or whether you’d rather do things half-heartedly…

Having said that, and given that 98% of the people I meet would rather run the New York marathon in a sarouel pants and Louboutins than leave my stomach empty, let’s answer the question “What does Louise eat?”

Peanut butter, raclette, “galettes bretonnes” and semi-salted butter of course, but what else?

Generally speaking, I’m not a fan of cuts of meat such as beef, chicken, lamb, duck, etc., but I have no problem eating fish, prawns and shellfish.

I’m also much more of a savory person than a sweet one, so even if I like a little piece of cake from time to time (especially chocolate cake, I like “fondants” and “coulants”), I’d rather have savory. As I’m not used to sweet things, my tolerance is quite low and I can quickly become disgusted, so don’t be offended if I don’t eat the whole slice of cake you’ve made for me, I just listen to my body. It’s better that I don’t eat much but have a good memory of it than that I spend our whole meeting dealing with my nausea…

Now that we’ve covered the basics of Louise’s diet, let’s look at all the possibilities during our meeting:

At home or at the hotel:

Even if we’re in a hotel, we don’t have to go to a restaurant if you don’t feel comfortable there for X reasons. I prefer a quiet moment alone in a room rather than feeling bad in public.

We can have an “apéritif dinatoire”. A cheese platter bought from your local cheesemonger or grocer, a few aperitif cakes, vegetables to dip in sauces, canapés bought from Picard, etc. Anything goes, depending on what’s easiest for you. If you don’t live in Toulouse, I can recommend an Italian caterer or a cheese maker. Some people also like to go to the market in the morning, so if you need advice, don’t hesitate! This type of meal can be perfect for short meetings of 2-3 hours.

I’m not much into Uber Eat/Delivroo/etc. for the simple reason that the choice is fairly limited, sometimes expensive and often quite greasy (tacos, burgers, etc.). While I appreciate this from time to time, to accompany a Netflix series, I still prefer a different kind of food when I’m spending time with you.

If we’re staying at a hotel, we can also call the room service (remember to check beforehand that the menu contains things I eat).

Restaurants :

The question of restaurants can sometimes be a real headache. First, let me make one thing clear: for me, restaurants are like hotels – I don’t need a gastro or a Michelin-starred restaurant to have a good time!

However, there are a few things you should know.

• When you first meet someone, it’s sometimes difficult to start with a restaurant.

If our table is a little out of the way, that’s fine, but when the tables are close together or the room is very, very quiet, it can be awkward. Especially if you’re shy. And if you’re very comfortable, please avoid the “So Louise, I think it’s great that you undertake your job  of escort-girl! How are your relatives taking it?” shouted out loud. Yes, I take my job on board and I love it, but you’re beginning to know me: I love discretion and tranquility even more! As a result, a silent dining room and a waiter with his ear to the ground kind of spoils my culinary experience.

Anyway, back to the shy ones. It’s often best to start somewhere else, in the bedroom for example, or on a terrace if you know that the restaurant isn’t the most suitable. After that, it usually goes by itself, because even if the person next to us listens carefully, our discussions move round anything and everything, just like two ordinary friends/colleagues. If the place is safe, we can talk about intimate things, and if it doesn’t, we can wait until we’re in the bedroom or elsewhere to talk about these subjects. Don’t hesitate to tell me what makes you feel comfortable or not, because in a restaurant I can talk about sexuality just as I would about travelling, but not everyone is like me, so please tell me about your barriers in this area so that I don’t make any mistakes.

• As I was saying, I don’t need Michelin-starred or gastro restaurants, but I do like good food.

I prefer a small restaurant that does local/seasonal food to a “chain”. After that, don’t worry either: the aim is not to make you anxious, we can discuss the options and I’ll tell you whether or not I like the menu. I’ve also put together a list of local restaurants that I’ve tried or would like to try, and there’s everything from Michelin-starred to vegan, Italian or Thai, so if you’re short of inspiration, don’t hesitate to ask.

• I don’t need a Michelin-starred or gastro restaurant BUT I’m not going to lie, when I meet someone who loves this type of cuisine, my little heart palpitates.

My grandmother used to take me there when I was little, but my taste memories are a bit vague, I remember it was in very beautiful places. Now I can also tell you that the food is good! Obviously not everyone is a fan and I would never ask you to go there if you prefer a good cheese platter with a bottle of red wine, because I love that too.

However, if you enjoy these places and want to invite me, there’s one thing you should know: I don’t know how to do anything other than comment on what I eat. I’m always amazed by people who go and dine in gastro or Michelin-starred restaurants and say absolutely nothing about the food, talk about their jobs or their daily lives. This summer I did 48 hours of Ducasse with a friend, in Versailles, thanks to a generous lover who offer me that amazing present.

During dinner, we commented on each dish. We talked about a lot of things, of course (particularly the aches and pains from an afternoon horse-riding in the Parc de Versailles, RIP our adductor muscles) but I watched the waiters sweep by with stars in my eyes. What were they going to bring us? What were the chef’s inspirations? Each service was a solemn moment when we stopped talking to savor the first mouthful, a few floating seconds when we felt connected to each other just by our sensations. No need for words for the first secondes, our eyes and bodies did the talking (you’d think it was erotic, but no, he’s just a friend, nothing more, we just have an incredible connection over food). Every time the sommelier came to serve us, we took the time to listen to him, to taste and then to talk quickly with him about the selection and our feelings about it. The last time I was in this restaurant with a charming suitor I had the privilege of drinking a glass of Château d’Yquem, and it remained engraved in my memory and my body as a moment of pure happiness.

So, it was with stars in my eyes that I asked if it was possible to have a glass of this bottle for dessert and the world stopped spinning a bit (château d’Yquem + strawberries, let me tell you, heaven was not far away).

But why am I saying all this? Because, while we were in a bubble of softness and incredible sensations, I took the time to observe the tables around us and of the 4 tables surrounding us, 3 were not talking at all about the dishes (and in one of them the man couldn’t stop grumbling and complaining about things in his life, all very loudly). I was totally taken aback by this, and I wanted to go up to them all and say, “But don’t you realise that what you’re holding in your hands is art? You can’t be so detached, it’s not possible! Tell me about your lives, because there’s something not quite right here, what makes you thrill? Where are your emotions?”. I didn’t do it because it would have been embarrassing and then I had a Chateau d’Yquem to taste. But really, it remains one of the great mysteries of my summer…

So, what are the conclusions of this incredible tirade that nobody cares about?

Firstly, if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t say anything about the food in this type of restaurant, I encourage you to go and talk to a professional rather than contacting me. OK, I’m a “professional” but I was talking about a different kind of profession…

Secondly, if you hadn’t realised, I love Château d’Yquem, so if you’re rich and don’t know what to do with your millions, I do.

Thirdly, you should know that shortly after that evening, my partner in the Ducasse 48h sent me this https://www.laliste.com/fr/ saying “Here’s a bit of inspiration!” Since then, I’ve been dying to check off a few of the restaurants on the list in good company (=with you!).

Anyway, all this has made me hungry so I’ll leave you here, I’m off to eat (roast cauliflower if you must know)!

Love to you all

PS: I wanted to finish here but I thought I should tell you 2 anecdotes that make me howl with laughter every time.

People often ask me if I have food allergies and I don’t really know what to say because I want to say “no” but the reality is more complex.

First anecdote: A few years ago, I went to a Thai restaurant that I loved and had been to before. I was in charming company, the light was dim (this is important for what happens next) and our discussions were fascinating, but after the first course I started to feel very hot flushes and nausea. I thought that maybe it was the wine or just tiredness. I left the table to freshen up, arrived at the washbasin (which was well lit) and there was panic: I was covered in large red patches all over my chest and neck. I go back to my table and ask my date if he’s noticed anything… he says he hasn’t, but when I explain, he offers to leave and take me home. Outside, as we reached the streetlights, I saw him widen his eyes: “Oh yes…yes…er, the emergency room?” I calmed him down, went home and waited for things to calm down. By the end of the evening there was no trace of it. Since then, I’ve been back to eat at this restaurant several times (because it’s really very, very good!) and I’ve never had another worry of this type…

Second anecdote: October 2020, I went to eat in a Michelin-starred restaurant just before the 2nd lockdown. I get really ill on the way home and tell myself I’ve got to “hatch something” (which starts with C and ends with 19). The restaurants close and we enter the super happy period of the Eternal Curfew. So, anyway. Summer 2021, I’m invited to another Michelin-starred restaurant, we have a great evening and it’s fair to say that we didn’t go easy on the mix: champagne, white wine, red wine… I got home and found myself having an after-party with my toilet bowl. Of course, I put that down to mixing, what else?

Two months later, I went to lunch at this 2nd starred restaurant with a friend. Everything went well, it was delicious and we had a great time. Except that an hour after leaving this beautiful place, there I was with my head in my washbasin (I hadn’t had time to get to my toilet). I came to the conclusion that there was something wrong, a food that apparently made me want to have a torrid after-dinner with my interior furniture (I’ll summarize if you want the whole story, feel free, it’s full of little details that make me howl with laughter every time I tell it).

A few weeks after that, a charming suitor asked me to go for an evening in this Michelin-starred restaurant and, as I wasn’t too keen on the idea of spending part of our date in an after-party with a hotel toilet (I’m loyal to my own), I told him the story. So, he suggested we change and go for dinner at the 1st starred restaurant I mentioned earlier. I’m delighted, it’s a great evening, the meal is divine, in short, everything works out for the best. We continue our tête-à-tête in the bedroom, everything is so soft and tender… until I feel my body starting to act up. To cut a long story short: I was unfaithful and had an after-party with the hotel toilet. I was sorry, and my partner even more so, because he’d changed his plans for me to make sure I had a good time and that was that.

Well, don’t worry, I recovered very quickly and the rest of our evening was fabulous, but let’s face it: there’s something my body doesn’t like about these 2 delicious restaurants. What was it? I have no idea. If you’d still like to go with me, I’m all for it because it’s very good (and one of them has changed chef, so maybe that mystery ingredient won’t be there any more), but you still have to bear in mind the possibility of an after-party…

All that to say, “No, I’m not allergic, well maybe I am but I don’t know what to…“.

That’s it for me this time! Have a great weekend!

L’article Waxing the Butt Crack, Truffle-Hunting Dogs and Culinary Orgasms at Ducasse (or more simply: “How to Prepare for Our Meeting?”) Part II est apparu en premier sur Louise, escort à Toulouse et en France.

We have a date and there, the anxiety rises “Zut, how do I prepare for a meeting with Louise?” Some people dare to ask me my preferences while others stay with their questions until the day D. So, just to avoid fashion-faux-steps and unnecessary headaches, I made a little «guide of survival».

Louise, do I have to shave? Epilate? And how do you like the beard? And down?

Put down that electric mower and get away from it! Don’t go remove your beautiful “toison” for me!

The number one rule with me is “come as you are”. Yes I know, it sounds very cliché but it’s true. I’ve seen a lot of men epilating, shaving or worse, waxing (I say “worse” because pain level is still on another level) with a view of our date. For some it’s in their habits and it doesn’t really bother me (we’ll come back to it later) but for many others it was the first time and it bothers me a little more. If you have hair and you don’t usually touch it, then leave it! 1) it will save you from ingrown hair, cuts, irritations and 2) you will make me happy. Because yes, I come here to confess a kink, an adoration, what do I say? A passion! The hairs. Some here have already been surprised to see me, the air absent, grinding, caressing their “toison”. I become as hypnotized, I hardly speak anymore and I plunge my hands again and again into these dark forests. Well, obviously it concerns the chest hair, I don’t do that with those of the armpits and even less with those of the pubis (which would be hilarious, I imagine the scene very well) but all your hairs don’t bother me. Those on the chest, those in the armpits, those on the back, those on your big toe, etc. I love them all. When I accept to see someone, I accept him and his thousands of hairs!

BUT (yes, it can’t be that simple), we need to talk about some things anyway.

First of all, if you have the habit of shearing or shaving your body, it can complicate our intimacy a bit. As a Great-Allergic-in-Chief and Mistress of Reactions-Body-Rotten, you should know that short hair can irritate my skin. Really irritate it. I’ve already covered myself with red patches during a hug because of the friction of the stiff hairs. So, if you don’t shave, don’t shave and if you’re used to shaving, then try to plan a time when the hairs won’t be too hard.

It’s not just the torso that can be a problem. Indeed, if you shave your pubic it can also sometimes complicate our sex moment. Because these rubbings are no longer only on my skin, they also irritate my vulva. The back and forth can be quite painful in these conditions. If you don’t shave, please don’t. And if you are used to do it, please let it be a little before our meeting.

About the beard, I can’t advise you too much because some have the hair soft enough, others hard enough, some have fast regrowth, others do not, etc.

In any case, I reserve the right to slow down our ardor if it’s painful. Unless you have shaved your entire body, I reassure you, we always find nice alternatives, it doesn’t break anything, it’s just a small readjustment!

” But, Louise, I am hairless! Is that a reason to refuse a meeting?“
Not at all! I don’t judge meetings based on hair. Besides, if you do have hair, I could very well find myself so fascinated by it that I spend hours stroking it, instead of your body hair.

“I am bald Louise…”

Ah… Well listen, we will find other points of hook, it doesn’t matter!

“I’m hairless, bald, pro-Trump, and I’ve even left my dog on the side of the highway to go on vacation”

If you don’t put in some effort yourself, I can’t help you, sorry.

I really don’t understand the people who say that if you don’t epilate, if you don’t shave, you are «not clean», it does not make any sense (it’s even the opposite: the hair is not there for nothing, they protect against certain infections). If you feel more comfortable shaving your armpits or waxing your butt crack, that’s totally fine, it’s your choice, and I have nothing to say about it. However, when I see men telling women who have pubic hair, that they are “not clean”, it leaves me a bit pensive. So, if that’s what you think then you can go your way because even if I maintain my pretty pubic forest, it’s out of the question that I turn into Bolsonaro of pussy. I took too long to be comfortable with it and I would not let anyone come to tell me what to do with my pubic hair!

“And what about the perfume? What do you think?”

I am someone who works quite a bit with smell. Like a little animal I like to sniff my food, my drink… and my partners!

I have a little too sensitive nose on everything that is «artificial smells», it blurs my radars and takes up too much space in the moment. I have nothing against a little perfume, a slight smell of deodorant or soap on your skin but I have a lot, a lot of problems with people who empty half the bottle or use too strong a perfume.

I can get off a bus or subway if the smell bothers me too much because with the crowds and heat it’s rarely good for me (and fainting on public transport is lame, plus everyone hates you because you make them late). It often happens to me to change sidewalk if I find myself behind someone who has abused his Azzaro or his Chanel because even several meters behind, I noticed that I was able to follow a person «to the nose» (and believe me, truffle dogs are fun next to me! Even if in my opinion, to my great despair, I would be unable to find a truffle with flair…).

I’ve already met men who clearly overdo it with the perfume and I must tell you about the rest of these appointments. Usually, I go home and take a good shower, taking care to generously wash my head and rinse my hair. And it happens that despite this, I still smell the scent on me. I can’t tell if it’s in my nose, if it’s really on me or if it’s just my imagination. It can definitely disturb my night (when I tell you that I am very sensitive to artificial smells it is not a joke). So, you can imagine, when this person contacts me again, despite all the sympathy and affection I have for him, I will be totally held back by this perfume thing. It’s a shame…

The funny thing is that I’m not as sensitive to other smells. I was a nurse and never really bothered by all the things you can smell when working in this field (and believe me, the human body can be very, very inventive). Obviously, I will not say that it doesn’t bother me if you come without having washed after participating in Koh-Lanta or made the Paris Marathon, there is a minimum. But I prefer the smell of a natural skin, even of a skin after love, which has moved and sweated a little, rather than a skin drowned under perfume. We have lost too much of this animal side, we want at all costs to mask all the odors, we even go so far as to make people believe that a vulva have to be washed with a special soap and that we must regularly “refresh” it with scented wipes (I plead guilty the first eh, I was so stressed at the idea of “feeling” that I used a lot). Even if you think I’m a hippie, I want to say “Let our bodies live and secrete their smells quietly“, I bond with my partner both through discussions and through the body, and for me, the latter is largely mediated by smell. To tell you the truth, I’ve even recorded the scent of the skin of most of the lovers I’ve had in my private life, and I like to evoke it when I think of them. It multiplies my sensations and memories. There is one who smells of beer, sweat, tobacco, and deodorant (just to clarify: he doesn’t spray himself with beer in the morning, he simply works in a bar). Hearing it like that, you might think “yuck” but I assure you, this mixture is absolutely intoxicating! Just talking about it gives me butterflies in my stomach!

Anyway, I could talk for hours on the importance of smell in my relationships and on my life in general but this article will already be long so I’ll stop there. In the second part that will be released in a few days we will talk about clothes. The hippie I am will change into anti-Christina Cordula. And we will also talk about food because we never talk about it enough!

L’article Waxing the Butt Crack, Truffle-Hunting Dogs and Culinary Orgasms at Ducasse (or more simply: “How to Prepare for Our Meeting?”) Part I est apparu en premier sur Louise, escort à Toulouse et en France.

There is a subject that I’ve really wanted to talk about for years. A subject that is almost at the center of our relationships: the body. Mine, yours, and that of my colleagues.

I’ve started writing this article a long time ago but I didn’t finish it. I think it’s a good idea to do it now as I see a huge number of lousy articles about “how not gain weight in lockdown” or “how to take advantage of the lockdown to built a beach body before summer”.

So, depending on the time you are reading it, grab a cup of tea and a packet of Pailles d’Or (my favorites French cookies) or a glass of wine (and the bottle because it’s a long article) with some peanuts and let’s go!

We have been raised in a society that put a lot of pressure from an early age to have a perfect body, a body that suits to certain norms. Women have more pressure but men are not spared from that. If you are here, reading my article, it’s certainly because we are going to see each other undressed, except if you want to book me to play Scrabble (but I need to warn you that I’m really good at that game, thank you GrandMa for the hard training). So I thought it might be interesting to talk about our relationship with the body

Like every woman in our societies, I’ve been encouraged since my young age to stick to some beauty norms with the help of diets, sport, pills, deprivations, self-deprecation, slimming and anti-cellulite creams, etc. How many hours and how much energy spent chasing the “perfect body” !

And if this self-pressure wasn’t enough, I also had to deal with people’s comments about my weight or what I ate: “Hum… You’ve put on weight, haven’t you?“, “I see you enjoyed yourself at Christmas!“, “You should do more sport”, “You shouldn’t wear that kind of clothes, your ove handles are showing” etc. I thought it would be interesting to talk a little about these famous comments and their consequences.

First of all, I’ve always wondered if people who made these comments really thought it would miraculously make the other person lose weight in three months. It could be like an electric shock, yes, but most of the time we already know we need to lose weight or do more sport, and we already feel bad about it. So adding another comment is like putting crème fraîche in carbonara: unnecessary and potentially really traumatic.

People usually do these kinds of comments with people they know (if you are the type of person who makes comment on a perfect stranger’s body, I really encourage you to build on the lockdown and work on that): most often, if you lose weight, you’ll receive congratulations and if you put on weight, you will be criticized. However, body evolutions can happen for different reasons, sometime positives, sometime negatives.

Let me give you some examples to illustrate my point:

I had a friend who had been overweight for years but he didn’t mind, he felt great like that. One day he had a huge heartache and started to lose weight. A lot of weight. People around him were really happy for him, they congratulated him every day and asked him his sport/diet advices while the fact was he suffered so much he couldn’t eat. Everybody was focused on his body and not on his mental health

I had another friend who was really lean, he was somebody always stressed, who struggled with precarity and had a bad relationship. One day he met a sweet girl, shortly after he was hired in a good company. His anxieties left him and he started put on weight. His closes friends were happy, because they knew that his weight was a good thing but he received a lot of bad comments from other people…when for the first time in years he was truly fulfilled

I am going to tell you a not really funny story but I think it’s important to understand why you better do not make comment on people’s body. A friend of mine had been raped few years ago and she chose to not tell that to everybody. Like a lot of victims, she had to struggle with PTSD and in her case, she lost a lot of weight really quickly. She tried her best to put on weight after that but after months without results, she decided to just make peace with her body and let it do whatever it wants. While she was struggling with PTSD, some people started to make comments on her weight loss “you better eat more!”, “stop doing these stupid diets”, “Your body is not really pretty with this weight loss”, etc. In your opinion, how did she fell about all these comments? (Let me spoil you: she was not feel good). Once, I saw her get mad at a friend who had told her that he “preferred her before” her weight loss… She cracked and told him the reason of her slimming. He was mortified and since that day he has stopped making comments on peoples’ bodies.

The last example is about me. Few years ago, I decided to stop using birth control pill to see what was the effects on my body. I felt more freedom, my breast stopped swelling every month (if the idea seems nice, I can assure you that it’s a real torture when just walking causes you pain to bring tears to your eyes), I was less hungry, my libido came back and I also noticed that I had deflated a bit, feeling lighter and more comfortable. In summary, it was 100% positive! Except that I had some comments on my weight loss and, of course, about my breast loss. No matter how much I explained how better I was, all some saw was that I had lost a breast size and found that “less pretty”.

With that in mind, you understand why I prefer not to say anything about a body change because I don’t know what can be behind it. In fact, generally, I think it’s pretty weird to express an opinion about peoples’ bodies

In my activity I really appreciate when my lovers are in the same frame of mind because, even if I have a body which stick to some physical norms, I’m not spared by reflections. I can lose weight really easily even if I love pizza, raclettes, peanut butter or a good glass of wine (yes, I confess, it’s more than just ONE glass), etc.  I’m a “bonne vivante”! However, sometime, for different reasons, I lose weight.

But I can reassure you: I have a wonderful entourage and everybody do his best to help me to gain some weight (raclettes in winter and kilos of mozzarella in summer).

I am not responsible of my loss weight so when a man tells me something like “ah…you lost weight… I preferred your body before/you seem sick/it’s not pretty/etc.” I can be sad. These comments won’t make me gain 5kg in a heartbeat but it can hurt me or gives me a complex. You never know which could be behind this lose weight and I don’t have to explain what’s happen in my private life. Maybe I had a death in my entourage? Or maybe I experienced bad things? Maybe I have a heartache or I lost a friend?  

I am speaking about me but it’s the same for my colleagues. I’m always angry when a man affords to criticize another girl because she “is too fat/has cellulite/put on weight/etc.”. What are you looking for by doing this? That I agree and start criticize with you? Never! I stand with my colleagues, always. The other thing is that it’s going to daunt me. I understand that everybody has his preferences, we could discuss about that for hours but what I want to say here is that it’s not because somebody is not your personal taste that you have the right to tell her that you don’t like her body. I see a lot of colleagues who receive messages about their weight, their shape, their breast size, etc.

The human being can really make me depress.

I don’t like Brussels sprouts however I will never insult a person who eats it next to me. I mean, that would be weird, wouldn’t it?

I’m talking about weight variations but it’s the same for:

• Stretch marks: almost every woman has some on her body. They’re not only caused by pregnancy or weight gain, they can also appear because of your skin type, certain treatments that cause swelling, rapid growth during the teenage years, or sometimes because we enjoy our weightlifting sessions a little too much. Personally, I find them beautiful; I see them as delicate white tattoos that tell the story of our bodies. But we have to face facts: for many people, stretch marks are still not viewed positively. For the record, I once had a 60-year-old man tell me that a 19-year-old colleague was lying about her age because, in his opinion, “Stretch marks only appear after 25 or when you’re pregnant. I know she doesn’t have children, so she must be older than 25!” I was speechless at first, then tried to explain why stretch marks can appear for many reasons, but he was convinced he was right..
• Cellulite: 90% of women have cellulite. It’s not a matter of taking care of our body, you have it even if you have a healthy diet, even if you go to the gym every day. It can be caused by genetic, hormonal and blood/lymphatic circulation, etc. Let’s normalize it!
• Hairs: it’s a natural thing. If you don’t like it, I encourage you to question yourself about it and above all: please, stop making comments if you come across a woman (IRL, on social media, etc.) who had decided to let grow her hair.

I could go on with more examples but I think you understand my point.

Some people are looking for a companion with a “perfect body” but understand that what seems perfect for you is not necessarily the perfection for another one. I mean, for some men I’m too thin, for others I’m to fat, for some I’ve not enough breast/booty, for others I’ve a “big booty”, for some I’m not enough muscular, for others I’m too muscular, etc. Anyway, you can have a “perfect body” in your mind but it’s going to be difficult to find it in real life because everybody is different and bodies can change with the time, with hazards of life, with menstrual cycles, etc.

If a colleague or if me are not in your taste, there is no point in coming to criticize us because what you don’t like will be really appreciate by another (and also because I’m sure you can do better with your free time). If a see a tall stranger in the street I’m not going to tell him that I don’t like him because he is too tall (yes that seems absurd but let’s face the truth: every comment about others’ body is absurd). A lot of people like tall men so why would he need my opinion?

After talking about all of that, we can discuss on you and your body. You will appreciate that I’m not going to tell “I base my selection on your BMI and your percentage of body fat” or “You have a discount of 20% if you have a six-pack”

I wanted to do this post because I have noticed that some of you apologize for not having a “perfect body”: “I put on weight but I promise I’ll lose it before our date”, “I’m not an handsome man, do you still accept me?”, “I do sport but despite that, I’m overweight”, “I have to warn you: I’m obese”, etc. But sometimes it’s about other parts of the body: some of you ask if they need to shave their body, if hair bothers me, while others apologize for their baldness.

I totally understand that you want to be at your best for our date, to be at ease with your body so you can be at ease in our relation. I can’t have the power to destroy your fears and your complexes, I don’t have the magic words to do that.

All I wanted to say here is that I don’t base my selection on your physical but on your words. I don’t need photos or your weight, I need to know you, who you are, what do you like, what are your desires, why do you want to meet me, etc. I’m looking at a man who is gentle, funny and respectful.

So, come as you are, with your “extra pounds”, your baldness, your hair, your stretch marks, your scars, etc. If I’ve chosen you, it’s because of your words and that’s all that matters to enjoy the moment. We are going to have a lot of fun and we are going to eat and drink and make love!

Je vous embrasse

L’article How to have a beach body in ten minutes (I’m kidding but please, read it, it’s going to be interesting) est apparu en premier sur Louise, escort à Toulouse et en France.

I would be tempted to say “when we die” but if you believe in heaven and hell, you may see further. After all, someone predicted that I would end up at Satan’s house having orgies with the CEO of Coca-Cola (for some people, selling one’s charms is more or less equivalent on a moral level to poisoning the planet and humans with a soft drink, I’m not judging, everyone has their own beliefs). So, maybe my sexuality will end when I die, maybe not.

However, if some predict fabulous sex in rivers of Coke for me, we must face the facts: for a large part of society, sexuality stops well before that. Like before paradise, before death, before the retirement home, sometimes before menopause… In short, we don’t really know where this limit is but there is one, you just have to look around us to realize that there is an age where “having fun” is no longer really tolerated.

Representations of sexuality after a certain age

If it is accepted, even highly recommended, to have a sex life as an adult, we feel that society has stuck a big expiration date label on our butts.

“It’s not your age anymore!”

After a certain age, we consider that people (and especially women, question of education but if I go there we will have 15 more pages and I have a life, you too so we will skip this part there) are no longer interested in “the thing”. Priorities would no longer be the same: elderly people would find pleasure in making cakes for their grandchildren or in planting geraniums. Their emotional and sexual life would now only involve holding hands or kissing each other on the cheek. That’s okay, it’s cute but we can’t imagine them going any further. We refuse to believe grandma’s turning pages and turning up the heat with her book club friend. However, fantasies, desires and sexual imagination don’t stop at a given age, they can be present until death. I’ve read that we would evolve towards something softer, more peaceful, less “sexual” as we age. This is often set as a norm, valid for everyone (which implies that if we have different desires, it’s not “normal”). Off course some people find fulfillment in walking hand in hand on the beach at sunset, but maybe we could also stop telling people how they should think about their sexuality after 60? Whether Granny wants a romantic walk or a hot sex party, after all, who cares except her and her partner(s)?

In short, if every day society and those around us make us understand that sex after a certain age is bad, disgusting, that we must limit ourselves to chaste kisses on the cheek, how can we not be disturbed by ours own desires? How can you not decide to put your sexuality in a box in the closet (between the boxes “dream of a career in the music hall” and “dream of going to New York”)?

“Your body is no longer desirable”

We also live in a world which mainly highlights young, flawless bodies (or older bodies often modified with scalpel or Photoshop). In magazines, on the internet, in advertisements, in films, we tend to always hire young people. Sell ​​yogurt? A young woman. Sell ​​a car? A young father. After the age of 60, we barely have the right to be hired for commercials for urinary leaks, for stair lifts and to star in The Young and the Restless (and even then, if we have “aged well”).

Sometimes wrinkles, spots, white hair, scars appear on TV but it is only to promote creams and treatments intended to make them disappear. It is not a question of accepting the passage of time, we must fight it.

https://www.cairn.info/revue-gerontologie-et-societe1-2012-1-page-23.htm

“However, the consumer society suggests that it is possible to combat the effects of aging (Boëtsch, 2010), and this, through injunctions. The natural decline of the body must be combatted because it can be combatted by the products and services created for this purpose. The loss of beauty as we age is no longer an inexorable consequence of advancing age, it is now considered a lack of discipline and willpower (Featherstone, 1994). “Looking old” also means “letting yourself go”, and working on appearances requires effort and control, firmness of both mind and body. Appearance is a reflection of the moral qualities of the individual.“

(Yes because I got lost in the academic writings on aging, I’ll share with you a little of my findings)

We come back a little to what I said in the article on the relationship with our body: these collective representations have an impact on the relationship we have with ourselves because they unconsciously dictate what is desirable and what is not. How can we imagine getting naked and having a relationship with someone if we don’t feel attractive?

(Please note: my point is not to attack people who use surgery or cosmetic treatments, nor those who have decided to not use them. And in my opinion, no one should judge others on this type of thing given the society in which we evolve.)

Other concerns

During this period, it is also true that we could face physical and/or hormonal disorders which can have a significant impact on our sexuality. We can partly alleviate certain problems such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness. Unfortunately, it’s still too taboo to ask your GP for treatment to have sex with your boyfriend when you’re 80 years old or to ask your surgeon how to do sex with an ostomy bag when you are 70 years old.

The retirement home

Even if we talk about it more and more, sexuality after a certain age remains a big taboo in our society, however “la cerise sur le cupcake” arrives when we push the door of the retirement homes.

If we can still manage to get by when we live at home, when we go to a retirement home, having a sex life is a bit like a Koh-Lanta of the 3rd age. The lack of privacy, single beds, families, health personnel… everything becomes a barrier to intimate life.

Afterwards we are socked to have surprised Madame Marie sneaking through the corridors in the middle of the night, like a teenager, to go visit Madame Lucie. Do you realize?! Yes, but Madame Marie, she perhaps had a heterosexual marriage to please everyone and now, she wants to take advantage of Monsieur Marie’s death to FINALLY go to bed with a woman. Who knows? And who are we, as children, grandchildren or caregivers to decide to take away the opportunity to satisfy their emotional and relational needs? Who are we in general to decide that there is an expiration date on intimacy, affection, hugs, human warmth and naughty pleasure? (I really need to get out of this lockdown, it brings out my revolutionary impulses too much (I’m French so it’s in my DNA like loving wine and cheese), I am about to transforme retirement homes into brothels)

Well, I’ll stop there, I could still write 45 pages (on the role of families, on older homosexual or trans people, on the increase in STI contamination in this population because prevention campaigns did not have it them, on love rooms in Quebec retirement homes, on sexuality when certain pathologies like Alzheimer’s impact cognitive functions, on widowhood and isolation…) but I think I have disturbed more than one with my obsession about sexuality and old age. This is absolutely not gerontophilia. Basically, I just wanted to talk about people who contact me but “think they’re too old”, then things escaped me and I wrote 5 pages, as usual. So, let’s go back to our business!

So, what about us ?

As I said, I sometimes get comments from men who consider themselves “too old” and/or who are afraid of “disgusting” me because of their looks. So, let’s be clear, I’m not necessarily putting a 60 years old man and an 80 years old man on the same level, but I wanted to talk about everything related to our age difference and to the apprehensions linked to this.

As I said before and also in my post on the relationship with the body, I have no problems with people who are not the “norm” (young, thin, muscular, able-bodied, etc.). So, I want to reassure you once again on this point, really don’t be afraid of that with me.

You may be embarrassed by the age difference. I totally understand that could be a blockage for you and I would never force you to do something that would make you uncomfortable. If you are not at ease with nudity and intimacy, we could meet simply around a good meal and spend our time talking all the night. Thanks to this activity I was able to have wonderful platonic relationships which allowed me to meet lovely people that I might not have been able to meet in my private life.

You may be blocked by being seen in public with me, by fear of what others will think about us. If I can reassure you on one point, our table neighbors are not likely to mistake us for a French remake of the famous couple Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall. First of all because I am neither blonde nor busty but above all because I like discretion. All they will see are 2 friends who remake the world while tasting a good wine.

You may be embarrassed about making love with me because you are experiencing some “mechanical problems”. Making love is not limited to penetration, we can perfectly find our happiness with other practices but also with hugs, massages, caresses, tenderness… You can read my full article about that HERE

You may want to meet me but you are in a retirement home, hospital or residence for the elderly. We may not do everything we want to do, but if you need cuddles and human warmth, I’m totally up for it.

In short, if you have this sort of obstacle, I encourage you to contact me so we can discuss what we can do to have a pleasant meeting.

My own expiry dates

If it can reassure you, I have not one but two expiration dates stamped on my pretty butt. The same as yours, which is approximately between 50 and 100, and the one that is linked to my activity. Since I started, people kept telling me “do a real job/study/save money because it won’t last” (I had already graduated from nursing school but ok). I tried to find out when my use-by date was and I am happy to tell you that I am right there given that people place it between 30 and 35 years. Damn! So, what am I going to do?

I considered several options, such as marrying an old millionaire who would mysteriously disappear and leave me a beautiful castle in which I could enjoy a peaceful retirement. I would create a shelter to save former racehorses and I would make cakes and plant geraniums like any self-respecting old woman. If you are old and very rich, do not hesitate to apply.

Please know that I would also be very happy with an English cottage.

https://www.bibamagazine.fr/lifestyle/voyages/un-cottage-anglais-du-14e-siecle-semble-tout-droit-sorti-dun-conte-de-fee-17670.html#item=1

Or with a Victorian house

In reality, maybe I have a little too much faith in humanity but I like to think that not all men stop seeing women when they passed an age. I don’t know what the future will bring, however I want to continue my job as long as I like and not put my lingerie in the closet at 35 because someone predicted me a miserable life if I ignore this expiration date. Who knows? Maybe some of my lovers will come play bridge with me on Sundays at the retirement home (no, I’m kidding, you’ll help me run away and we’ll go drink champagne by the Garonne while watching the sun go down) .

Je vous embrasse

L’article Does sex have an expiry date? est apparu en premier sur Louise, escort à Toulouse et en France.