Take something to eat before because it’s going to be a bit long and we’re going to talk about food too – it can makes you hungry!
“Would you like me to wear anything in particular? Do you mind if I wear shorts or a T-shirt?“
Come as you are!
I don’t really care what you’re wearing, as long as you don’t open the door to me naked!
In a metalhead T-shirt, in shorts, in flip-flops and socks (yes, I accept EVERYBODY!) or in a suit, you can wear whatever feels right for you.
My meetings are above all based on naturalness: I refuse to be asked to come in an outfit that isn’t me, so you can imagine that I expect the same of you. There’s no need to put on the suit you bought for your brother’s wedding 5 years ago when it no longer suits you and it’s 35°C out. If you’re in a suit because you were at work, no problem, but if you want to wear a T-shirt and jeans to dinner with me, get changed.
“You say you want to eat, but what? How much? What kind of food do you like? What kind of restaurant?“
Because the meetings I offer are a little long, I’m often asked if I want to eat and especially what I want to eat. You’ve realised that food and me are a beautiful love story and you don’t want to disappoint me on that point? You’re quite right, because I have to admit that I’m always very disappointed when someone tells me that we’re going to eat together or have a snack and then the person changes the plans.
“Louise… You don’t get paid to eat, if you know what I mean…“
Yes, that’s true. But on a date, even a 2-hour date, most people like to feed me. If, during a 2 or 3 hours “tête-à-tête”, my suitor doesn’t consider it, I prefer to know so that I can eat beforehand (remember that meetings lasting 4 hours or more must include lunch or dinner). If you say “Yes, of course” and end up saying “No”, what happens? Quite simple: I’m hungry. And so are you. Like any human being, in fact. And when my tummy rumbles, I’m sorry, but it wins by a knockout over my sensuality. For me, the pleasures of the body are inseparable from each other. If I’m hungry, if I’m thirsty, if I’m sleepy, etc., you can be sure that my pleasure will be much less. That’s how it is so it’s up to you whether you want me completely fulfilled in every way or whether you’d rather do things half-heartedly…
Having said that, and given that 98% of the people I meet would rather run the New York marathon in a sarouel pants and Louboutins than leave my stomach empty, let’s answer the question “What does Louise eat?”
Peanut butter, raclette, “galettes bretonnes” and semi-salted butter of course, but what else?
Generally speaking, I’m not a fan of cuts of meat such as beef, chicken, lamb, duck, etc., but I have no problem eating fish, prawns and shellfish.
I’m also much more of a savory person than a sweet one, so even if I like a little piece of cake from time to time (especially chocolate cake, I like “fondants” and “coulants”), I’d rather have savory. As I’m not used to sweet things, my tolerance is quite low and I can quickly become disgusted, so don’t be offended if I don’t eat the whole slice of cake you’ve made for me, I just listen to my body. It’s better that I don’t eat much but have a good memory of it than that I spend our whole meeting dealing with my nausea…
Now that we’ve covered the basics of Louise’s diet, let’s look at all the possibilities during our meeting:
At home or at the hotel:
Even if we’re in a hotel, we don’t have to go to a restaurant if you don’t feel comfortable there for X reasons. I prefer a quiet moment alone in a room rather than feeling bad in public.
We can have an “apéritif dinatoire”. A cheese platter bought from your local cheesemonger or grocer, a few aperitif cakes, vegetables to dip in sauces, canapés bought from Picard, etc. Anything goes, depending on what’s easiest for you. If you don’t live in Toulouse, I can recommend an Italian caterer or a cheese maker. Some people also like to go to the market in the morning, so if you need advice, don’t hesitate! This type of meal can be perfect for short meetings of 2-3 hours.
I’m not much into Uber Eat/Delivroo/etc. for the simple reason that the choice is fairly limited, sometimes expensive and often quite greasy (tacos, burgers, etc.). While I appreciate this from time to time, to accompany a Netflix series, I still prefer a different kind of food when I’m spending time with you.
If we’re staying at a hotel, we can also call the room service (remember to check beforehand that the menu contains things I eat).
Restaurants :
The question of restaurants can sometimes be a real headache. First, let me make one thing clear: for me, restaurants are like hotels – I don’t need a gastro or a Michelin-starred restaurant to have a good time!
However, there are a few things you should know.
- When you first meet someone, it’s sometimes difficult to start with a restaurant.
If our table is a little out of the way, that’s fine, but when the tables are close together or the room is very, very quiet, it can be awkward. Especially if you’re shy. And if you’re very comfortable, please avoid the “So Louise, I think it’s great that you undertake your job of escort-girl! How are your relatives taking it?” shouted out loud. Yes, I take my job on board and I love it, but you’re beginning to know me: I love discretion and tranquility even more! As a result, a silent dining room and a waiter with his ear to the ground kind of spoils my culinary experience.
Anyway, back to the shy ones. It’s often best to start somewhere else, in the bedroom for example, or on a terrace if you know that the restaurant isn’t the most suitable. After that, it usually goes by itself, because even if the person next to us listens carefully, our discussions move round anything and everything, just like two ordinary friends/colleagues. If the place is safe, we can talk about intimate things, and if it doesn’t, we can wait until we’re in the bedroom or elsewhere to talk about these subjects. Don’t hesitate to tell me what makes you feel comfortable or not, because in a restaurant I can talk about sexuality just as I would about travelling, but not everyone is like me, so please tell me about your barriers in this area so that I don’t make any mistakes.
- As I was saying, I don’t need Michelin-starred or gastro restaurants, but I do like good food.
I prefer a small restaurant that does local/seasonal food to a “chain”. After that, don’t worry either: the aim is not to make you anxious, we can discuss the options and I’ll tell you whether or not I like the menu. I’ve also put together a list of local restaurants that I’ve tried or would like to try, and there’s everything from Michelin-starred to vegan, Italian or Thai, so if you’re short of inspiration, don’t hesitate to ask.
- I don’t need a Michelin-starred or gastro restaurant BUT I’m not going to lie, when I meet someone who loves this type of cuisine, my little heart palpitates.
My grandmother used to take me there when I was little, but my taste memories are a bit vague, I remember it was in very beautiful places. Now I can also tell you that the food is good! Obviously not everyone is a fan and I would never ask you to go there if you prefer a good cheese platter with a bottle of red wine, because I love that too.
However, if you enjoy these places and want to invite me, there’s one thing you should know: I don’t know how to do anything other than comment on what I eat. I’m always amazed by people who go and dine in gastro or Michelin-starred restaurants and say absolutely nothing about the food, talk about their jobs or their daily lives. This summer I did 48 hours of Ducasse with a friend, in Versailles, thanks to a generous lover who offer me that amazing present.
During dinner, we commented on each dish. We talked about a lot of things, of course (particularly the aches and pains from an afternoon horse-riding in the Parc de Versailles, RIP our adductor muscles) but I watched the waiters sweep by with stars in my eyes. What were they going to bring us? What were the chef’s inspirations? Each service was a solemn moment when we stopped talking to savor the first mouthful, a few floating seconds when we felt connected to each other just by our sensations. No need for words for the first secondes, our eyes and bodies did the talking (you’d think it was erotic, but no, he’s just a friend, nothing more, we just have an incredible connection over food). Every time the sommelier came to serve us, we took the time to listen to him, to taste and then to talk quickly with him about the selection and our feelings about it. The last time I was in this restaurant with a charming suitor I had the privilege of drinking a glass of Château d’Yquem, and it remained engraved in my memory and my body as a moment of pure happiness.
So, it was with stars in my eyes that I asked if it was possible to have a glass of this bottle for dessert and the world stopped spinning a bit (château d’Yquem + strawberries, let me tell you, heaven was not far away).
But why am I saying all this? Because, while we were in a bubble of softness and incredible sensations, I took the time to observe the tables around us and of the 4 tables surrounding us, 3 were not talking at all about the dishes (and in one of them the man couldn’t stop grumbling and complaining about things in his life, all very loudly). I was totally taken aback by this, and I wanted to go up to them all and say, “But don’t you realise that what you’re holding in your hands is art? You can’t be so detached, it’s not possible! Tell me about your lives, because there’s something not quite right here, what makes you thrill? Where are your emotions?”. I didn’t do it because it would have been embarrassing and then I had a Chateau d’Yquem to taste. But really, it remains one of the great mysteries of my summer…
So, what are the conclusions of this incredible tirade that nobody cares about?
Firstly, if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t say anything about the food in this type of restaurant, I encourage you to go and talk to a professional rather than contacting me. OK, I’m a “professional” but I was talking about a different kind of profession…
Secondly, if you hadn’t realised, I love Château d’Yquem, so if you’re rich and don’t know what to do with your millions, I do.
Thirdly, you should know that shortly after that evening, my partner in the Ducasse 48h sent me this https://www.laliste.com/fr/ saying “Here’s a bit of inspiration!” Since then, I’ve been dying to check off a few of the restaurants on the list in good company (=with you!).
Anyway, all this has made me hungry so I’ll leave you here, I’m off to eat (roast cauliflower if you must know)!
Love to you all
PS: I wanted to finish here but I thought I should tell you 2 anecdotes that make me howl with laughter every time.
People often ask me if I have food allergies and I don’t really know what to say because I want to say “no” but the reality is more complex.
First anecdote: A few years ago, I went to a Thai restaurant that I loved and had been to before. I was in charming company, the light was dim (this is important for what happens next) and our discussions were fascinating, but after the first course I started to feel very hot flushes and nausea. I thought that maybe it was the wine or just tiredness. I left the table to freshen up, arrived at the washbasin (which was well lit) and there was panic: I was covered in large red patches all over my chest and neck. I go back to my table and ask my date if he’s noticed anything… he says he hasn’t, but when I explain, he offers to leave and take me home. Outside, as we reached the streetlights, I saw him widen his eyes: “Oh yes…yes…er, the emergency room?” I calmed him down, went home and waited for things to calm down. By the end of the evening there was no trace of it. Since then, I’ve been back to eat at this restaurant several times (because it’s really very, very good!) and I’ve never had another worry of this type…
Second anecdote: October 2020, I went to eat in a Michelin-starred restaurant just before the 2nd lockdown. I get really ill on the way home and tell myself I’ve got to “hatch something” (which starts with C and ends with 19). The restaurants close and we enter the super happy period of the Eternal Curfew. So, anyway. Summer 2021, I’m invited to another Michelin-starred restaurant, we have a great evening and it’s fair to say that we didn’t go easy on the mix: champagne, white wine, red wine… I got home and found myself having an after-party with my toilet bowl. Of course, I put that down to mixing, what else?
Two months later, I went to lunch at this 2nd starred restaurant with a friend. Everything went well, it was delicious and we had a great time. Except that an hour after leaving this beautiful place, there I was with my head in my washbasin (I hadn’t had time to get to my toilet). I came to the conclusion that there was something wrong, a food that apparently made me want to have a torrid after-dinner with my interior furniture (I’ll summarize if you want the whole story, feel free, it’s full of little details that make me howl with laughter every time I tell it).
A few weeks after that, a charming suitor asked me to go for an evening in this Michelin-starred restaurant and, as I wasn’t too keen on the idea of spending part of our date in an after-party with a hotel toilet (I’m loyal to my own), I told him the story. So, he suggested we change and go for dinner at the 1st starred restaurant I mentioned earlier. I’m delighted, it’s a great evening, the meal is divine, in short, everything works out for the best. We continue our tête-à-tête in the bedroom, everything is so soft and tender… until I feel my body starting to act up. To cut a long story short: I was unfaithful and had an after-party with the hotel toilet. I was sorry, and my partner even more so, because he’d changed his plans for me to make sure I had a good time and that was that.
Well, don’t worry, I recovered very quickly and the rest of our evening was fabulous, but let’s face it: there’s something my body doesn’t like about these 2 delicious restaurants. What was it? I have no idea. If you’d still like to go with me, I’m all for it because it’s very good (and one of them has changed chef, so maybe that mystery ingredient won’t be there any more), but you still have to bear in mind the possibility of an after-party…
All that to say, “No, I’m not allergic, well maybe I am but I don’t know what to…“.
That’s it for me this time! Have a great weekend!
